Elimidate Recap

Game – The ability to get what you want by influence alone

Tonight’s episode was all about game. The third episode for “boy toy” week featured a pro vs. rookie battle: three former participants (including the girl) and two new comers to the show. One pro, Mike, was cut last time because his kiss of death was too presumptuous for the girl in question (also misnamed considering who holds the ax). The second, Jesse, was cut because he was too thin – a valid reason for a self centered female, or anyone who holds center stage on this show. The third pro Chick [It doesn’t matter what her name is!], the main girl, has the most significant experience. At the outset, she declares that she slept with the last guy whom she chose, and this new crop must work hard to earn that privilege. The fact that the privilege was so readily available was lost on all but Mike.

The first setting took place in a park, where everyone met. Standard handshakes, no big deal. Then my boy Mike shows up, spiked hair and all, and he comes out swinging. He kisses Chick on the cheek, and proceeds to diss everyone in a 10 mile radius, looking to see what he is dealing with. Lucky for him, his dozens found a mark, and it was Jesse. Jesse couldn’t take a joke, and just hit back twice as hard, nonstop. Most of his comments were restricted to the fact that he paid a total of $800 that he could have gotten from Goodwill for $5 – although he would still have to rip his own holes. Mike happily laid into him, ignoring Chick, knowing that in this game, it is better to clear the field then to compete with it. As the group started the date in the sports bar, the disses continue until finally, Chick elimidates Jess. Chick wanted to be nice, but Jesse wanted to hit back with his hurt ego, and Chick destroyed him – earning cheers from every corner.

Round two started at a nightclub. Mike was dressed in a white suit a la Tubbs from Miami Vice. Chick, emboldened by her dispatching of Jesse, makes fun of the outfit – yet still comments that he looks good in it. Rather than fight the queen, Mike takes the veiled compliment and smiles. The others, Dick and Jason, are wearing standard clothes and are trying to hit hard at Mike. In response, Mike gives his trademark line, “ Are you jealous?” and silences the competition. Here again, Chick makes her intentions known. Had this not aired on network television, she may have come out and asked who can fuck the best – but instead she said, “Ok, lets talk about sex... what do you got?”

A light pops on for Mike here, this girl wants to fuck. So, he lets her know she is interested. Mike comes out and says he watched some porn before the date, just to learn some new techniques to try out on her. Chick is taken a back, but one can almost read her mental note, “This guy is forward, but if I go home with him, he will fuck me. Let’s see what these other two got.” Dick wants to know what Chick’s kink is, and when she mentions food, Mike strikes again. He goes to the bar, grabs a couple cherries, and feeds her one with his fingers, and the other with his lips, getting her attention. Not to be outdone, Dick goes in for the neck nibble, and one can watch Chick’s face flush in arousal. Now it is Jason’s turn. Jason has been mostly quiet the whole time, and now he is being called out. Not just by the guys, but by Chick too! After failing at talking his way out of the situation, he sheepishly hugs Chick, goes in for a kiss, and fumbles. Chick breaks away laughing, and we know Jason is gone. Chick’s reason for elimdating Jason was because he didn’t know what he was doing – unfortunately Dick didn’t take that as a hint of what she really wanted from her winner.

The final round starts at the dance floor in the same club. Mike loses his mind for a bit, making out with himself on the mirror, humping the floor, and dancing with his shirt over his head; while Dick is totally monopolizing Chick. Chick confronts Mike about his antics, and he confidently answers that he wanted to be different and figured she would have liked it. Surprisingly, Chick is satisfied. Here, Dick crashes and burns. The subject again turns to sex, and Dick speaks of his levels. What are they? Well, they are friendship, sensuality, and sexuality. Cutting to the chase, Chick asks the difference between sensual and sexual. Dick demonstrates by saying sensual is touching and such, while Mike finishes the discussion off by demonstrating sexuality when he frenches her. When Dick claims that he would never hit sexuality before sensuality, Chick decided it was lights out. He soon elimidates Dick, placating him by saying she flipped a coin to decide.

In the end, Chick wanted to get laid. She was a moderately attractive girl on a date with four very attractive guys, and she wanted to fuck at least one of them. One was an idiot and got stomped by superior game, and the other two probably were not interested in sex on the first date. There was only one guy that was left, the “Professional Asshole,” my boy, Mike.

Holla at your boy!